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2004-06-13, 11:16 p.m.
whee

I think that if my fingernails grow any faster, I will actually be able to see them growing.

2004-06-13, 12:18 a.m.
hey

It came back!

Maybe I just had to add another entry.

We were busy today and that was nice but I am feeling really sick tonight and it is worse when I lie down. But I'm sleepy. But I want to keep sitting up. Hmm. Jason's parents are going to give us one of their recliners, maybe we can get it soon for these situations.

I got my schedule for next year and they were SO nice to me. I have most of my hard months at the beginning, which will be rough. But good, because I like getting hard stuff out of the way while I'm still excited and fresh. Then I have February for maternity leave and January and March are both leave-able months, so I can take the other two weeks during either depending on what the baby does. AND then the three months after that are all in parts of the hospital with kickass (I hear) electric pumps onsite, which I can use. Although I'll have to have a backup in case patients' mommies need the pump, but I've heard that doesn't happen much. So yeah. I need to thank somebody for that schedule.

Going to try to sleep somehow.

xoxo

2004-06-13, 12:17 a.m.
poof

I had a big entry about my appointment and now it has disappeared. Bugger.

2004-06-10, 11:44 p.m.
tomorrow

Going to the doctor in the morning. It's the appointment that I decided to cancel and then didn't cancel. I dunno. I think I might be more comfortable at this place and.. I dunno. Anyway we're going in the morning. I hope they find my vein on the first stick.

2004-06-09, 10:44 p.m.
he speaks

I dreamed that the baby was born, and he was all tiny and newborn-sized but he could talk in complete sentences. And I was trying to nurse him and he was like, "Excuse me, but I'm not exactly sure how to do this." And I said, "That's okay, we can ask some of the other babies. Or we can get a lactation consult." And he was satisfied with that.

2004-06-09, 9:26 a.m.
worst pregnant girl ever

This is the only diary I can ever add to because it's gold and stuff. Except for I don't ever want to talk about being pregnant. It makes me feel worse. The more I think about it the slower the days go and the more freaked-out I get. I feel like if I analyze every day of this pregnancy, it's going to last ninety times longer. Does that make any sense? If I kind of stop thinking about it for awhile, it seems like all of a sudden another week has passed and I like that. Also I feel bad because I am not enjoying being pregnant and I am totally un-bonded to this baby. (Baby?!?) It still does not feel at all like there is an actual baby involved in this process. I have accepted that I'm pregnant because of the symptoms, but I still don't feel like I'm actually going to have a baby. Therefore I have no warm motherly feelings, and therefore I have guilt about the lack of warm motherly feelings for the baby I cannot imagine exists. Also I feel like everybody likes being pregnant except me and I am a big complainer and then I feel guilty about that. So shmah.

Jason got up and made me breakfast this morning, which was nice.

He was going to try to fix his car today since he's waiting on parts at work, but it keeps raining so he went back to bed. I might join him.

I have a wedding shower to go to tonight, barring too much urpiness. Also we were going to go to the gym but I'm not sure if we are now. Anyway. Yeah.

2004-06-07, 11:43 a.m.
Eight weeks

Bleurgh.

Jason is already talking about how we need to have another baby after this one so they can be siblings. And this is seriously NOT the time to be discussing that with me... I just want to stop being barfy and I can't imagine voluntarily becoming barfy again. Anyway.

We also talked about discipline-type things and how we're going to feel like total hypocrites when we tell the kid not to drink and.. um... stuff. And Jason was like, "Don't worry about it now, all those issues are like four years away." Heh. Am I totally sick for finding that hilarious? Anyway, he thought of it. Blame him.

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35 weeks - 2009-04-26
baby girl! - 2008-12-31
15 weeks - 2008-12-11
twelve weeks - 2008-11-19
8 weeks - 2008-10-22