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2004-10-07, 11:40 a.m.
twenty-four weeks
Is it sad that one of the most exciting things about my day off is that I get to wash diapers? The unbleached prefolds I got need to be washed 3-4 times before first use and I've only washed about half of them, once. But I LOVE washing them. Heh. I'm a dork. I'm sure the magic will fade after I've washed a few dozen poopy ones. Stuff I still need to get: sling, co-sleeper, diaper pail, maybe changing table, ear thermometer. Money I have for said items: zilch. Oh well. It will be OKAY. Right? I think the people at work are throwing me a baby shower and Stephanie said she wants to throw one too. So yeah. And not like our parents will let this baby go without. What's a good diaper pail for cloth, anyway? I think I want to use Borax so it should probably lock somehow. Yesterday at work we had a lactation consultant give our noon conference and she scared the SHIT out of me. She basically was saying that giving formula is child abuse, and that if you don't breastfeed you might as well smoke and not use a carseat. Yikes. I was just totally white-knuckled because I mean I will TRY! I will try my best but yeah. Tons of pressure. Two of my good friends with infants just couldn't do it. One pumps exclusively and one switched to formula. And they're good people, kwim? I have breastfeeding class next month and I figured out where LLL meets in my mom's town. And we learned some good stuff yesterday about latch and foremilk/hindmilk imbalance and baby-waking techniques and cup feeding but sheesh. I am scared and nervous. Oh yeah and she made me not even want to RESERVE the epidural like I was going to.... I was going to reserve it and then really try to not use it, but yeah I think maybe it needs to not even be available. Since the baby has to nurse within thirty minutes and I don't want her sleepy. Gah. Gah. Gah. I wish my mom or somebody had given birth unmedicated. My cousins have, I need to talk to them. I need REASSURANCE. And then my girls had the email thread about how awful the ring of fire is and tearing and yeah. Thanks, girls. :) Okay I had no idea I was so terrified until I starting typing. Heh. Wow it's raining a ton. I need to go back to bed after I drink some tea maybe. XOXOX. Evelyn kicks.
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